Sunday, December 23, 2012

12-23-2012



I don’t need a calendar to see that Christmas is nearing. I am being bombarded with television commercials telling me what I need and what I must give to my wife so I don’t look like a turd again. I’m suppose to enjoy receiving and using power tools around the house while my wife sits behind the wheel of a new luxury car, wearing her sparkly new diamond neckless. Not only don’t I enjoy using power tools, I don’t exactly understand how to use them. I’m pretty sure it involves doing work or a chore, so I don’t see how that benefits me in any way. Plus, I don’t see a beer holder on any of those handheld tools. And giving those gifts to my wife? I’m a teacher, not a congressman. I cannot afford to make her that happy. We’re lucky we can order online from the Dollar Store. Nothing shows off the color in my wife’s eyes like an edible neckless made of candy.
11:40 am sunrise. Our days are now getting longer.

Another way for us to know Christmas is near is to hang around children all day. Christmas will be brought up everyday, several times a day. We have a countdown on the whiteboard, reminding us how long until Christmas. We won’t be taking a full break from the school. I’m teaching our after school tutoring program, so we’re going to hold some sessions over the break. The kids wanted to do this and I think it should be fun for us. 

Christmas break started on Thursday at our school. I believe the staff was more excited about the break than the kids. Most of the teachers headed south to visit their families in the lower 48. We are going out to Anchorage for Christmas this year. We had originally planned on staying in the village for the entire break. Last weekend, we decided to head down to Anchorage for a week. This will give us a chance to do some things that we are unable to do here. The most obvious thing we can do is go to a place that sells things. Going to a store is something we take for granted most of our lives, but up here we don’t get to do it. We are fortunate that we have loving family members who will shop for us and send us packages from Oklahoma and Idaho. The upside of not having a store means there is no place where two women can bring all of their kids, block a narrow walkway (aisle), and catch up with each other’s lives. All the while totally ignoring everyone else in the store who are trying to get through the spice isle so they can stock up on beer. Maybe I won’t go to a store.
Some old bald guy at the Christmas program.

If you’re reading this, it means we survived the end of the earth. I think this is my 14th apocalypse I’ve survived in a row, so I’m feeling pretty good about that. Not that I have any special survival skills for this sort of thing, other than not believing in nonsense. Also, if there was an apocalypse, I think it would take about 20 years before anyone of us up here realized it, so we’d be fine anyways. 

Monica and I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. We will be spending Christmas in Anchorage and New Year’s here watching football, I guess. Then we can get back to some normalcy on TV; like more erectile dysfunction ads and commercials about yogurt that makes us poop. Now that’s better.

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