Sunday, January 19, 2014


I took a few weeks off from writing this blog for two reasons: 1) I was busy. b) I am lazy.  When a lazy person gets busy it kind of makes things weird in the world. So I am now sincerely apologizing for the Polar Vortex thing. I tried to warn Monica, but she kept me busy.

The busiest thing I did was to buy a house. We went to Oklahoma for our winter break,which was three weeks this year, and finished up the paperwork and closed on a house. Owning a house takes the pressure off me because now I don’t have to waste time thinking about where I will be spending my paychecks. There will always be plenty projects to pay for. 

Our new house in OK.
We had a good time in Oklahoma for Christmas; spending lots of time with family, eating good food, and visiting my friends at the liquor store. We even were able to listen to some good music in the City on New Year’s Day night. 

Getting to OK is not a fun event. From the time we get on our first plane in Nunam Iqua to when we land at the Northwest Arkansas Airport, we’ve been traveling for about 24 hours. Not all of it in a plane, some of it in airport bars, but still, 24 hours without sleeping in the prone position. 

For those of you who haven’t had to spend much time in airports, I’ll share this tidbit with you: They suck. They suck in almost every way possible. They’re crowded, stinky, crowded, loud, uncomfortable seating, crowded, and there are a lot of people there. If you like to people watch, you’ll get your quota for that in about 2 minutes. But I do learn some things while in airports. For instance, I learned what Hank Hill is doing now that his show is no longer on the air. He makes announcements on the intercom at the Houston Airport. 
Hangover Ball at the Wormy Dog Saloon. Jason Boland,
Wade Bowen, and Adam Hood.

I also learned that I can tell a person’s age by the distance they position their finger to their iPhone when they use the phone. The older the person, the further they keep their finger from the phone, and they peck at it. Much like a chicken eating off the ground. It is in a random cadence how they strike the phone. There is also a cutoff age where people use their thumbs instead of their index finger. I think around 44, because my wife is 29 and uses a mix. I am 47 and use my index finger usually. When I text angry, I use my middle finger. 

I also had my first personal, one-on-one experience with the fine folks at TSA. As I finished standing in the scanner so they could have a good look at what kind of underwear I was wearing (I bet they were surprised), they asked me to come with them for a personal inspection. Well, I was new to this, so there was some confusion on my part. I had my shirt off and my pants to my ankles before he asked me to step out of the line and said we were just going to just look in my backpack. I was embarrassed, TSA guy was annoyed, and the gal behind me pretended she didn’t look. But I know she did. After they found no contraband in my backpack, they released me back to Monica. She also seemed annoyed at me. 

But we made it back without further incident. We stayed in Anchorage for a night before heading back home. We found out the Polar Vortex thing affected things up here too. It had been warm, but the cold followed us north. People like it cold up here, so everyone’s happy now I guess. I could tell the kids were happy to see us return, because they kept asking when I was leaving again.