9-16-2012

The remoteness of this area is one of the main reasons we we love living here. I’m not offended by modern conveniences, but it is nice not having any cars or trucks in our village.  The occasional airplane is usually the only traffic noise we are hearing this time of year.  By November the sounds of snowmobiles will become audible; even to my annoyance.  But with the airplane noise comes the opportunity to fly out of here sometimes and see other places.  At the end of this month I will be getting on one of those Era planes and fly to Anchorage for a workshop in Seward.

Since our school is so remote, the state and district have invested heavily in technology. One of our technological goodies (I think that is the nerd term) is the ability to participate in field trips at long distance.  I will be attending a workshop on how to facilitate those field trips remotely.  Plus, spending a week in Seward and Anchorage will be a nice break.  Monica unfortunately will not be accompanying on this trip, as she has to teach my class for me.  I know they will be in good hands while a beer and a cheeseburger will be in my hands.  Yes, at the same time.

I am finally getting settled in with my class.  The new kids are still trying to figure out if I’m really that mean.  I’ve learned that scared students make quieter students.  For some of my students, this is their third year with me and they have figured out what they can or can’t get away with.  I try to give the older kids more privileges and responsibilities in the classroom, so that makes them happy.  Mostly.

This is a picture Monica took of the Yukon.

This week we had some fun in science.  I was trying to answer a question about what happens to our food after we eat it.  Now, if you think I enjoy being gross with elementary students, you are correct.  I was explaining that they all have bugs in their guts, bacteria that breaks down your food.  Puzzled looks is what I got.  So I asked them, “Who has eaten a hotdog?”  Every hand enthusiastically went up.  Then I asked, “Who has pooped a hotdog?”  Nineteen hands slowly went down.  I explained that their stomachs digest the hotdog, taking out what the body needs, and shoots the rest out the backdoor.  It was silent for about 30 seconds until one of the shy students raises his hand and says, “I pooped corn.”  Then the discussion began.  This is why I love teaching.

We have had some good frosts this week.  That means that the lake will freeze over pretty soon and our walk to school will become significantly shorter.  And colder.

I will be gone for a week and Monica will have to stay.  I feel badly for her, but not bad enough to decline to offer of the workshop. It will also give me the ability to let my class see other parts of the world through  this project.  I will bring Monica back some creamer for her coffee.  I will do a little shopping for a few perishables we don’t have enough of; mainly butter and cheese.  I should just get a cow.  And the trip to Seward will give me the opportunity to sample some more of the local craft beers.  You know, just trying to help the local economy.

9-9-2012

I’ve always taken the availability of electricity for granted.  I’ve never lived in a place where we lost power for any length of time, so I guess I’ve lived a charmed life.  I’ve also never been bitten by a snake, but I don’t think those two are connected.  Before we moved up here, I read about villages whose power was disrupted constantly.  Until this fall, we continued to be lucky.

We had a few outages prior to this fall, but nothing too bad.  Maybe a few hours at a time, but then it was back on, just in time for us to watch yet another reality show about Alaska.  But this year has been brutal.  

This is an uluaq, or ulu in English. It is a Yup'ik
knife used for cutting up meat and such.

Our village, like most villages in rural Alaska, gets power from diesel generators located in the village.  There is usually more than one generator, just in case one fails.  This fall, we would have 3-4 power outages a day, usually only lasting between 15 mins to an hour.  Which is not a big deal unless you have a classroom where technology is used.  I happen to have one of those classrooms.  So it has been a constant struggle to reboot computers while students are acting like it is the apocalypse.  Even though it would be the tenth time it had happened that week.  Drama kings and queens.  It does get pretty dark in the classroom during this, so there’s not a lot we can get done during this time, except for me to talk about the apocalypse.  (They frighten easily.)

But, it looks like the problem has been solved.  On our way to work yesterday, we talked with a man who was waiting to go to the airstrip.  He said he was here to work on the generators and thinks he had the problem fixed. He said words like “air in the fuel line” and “breaker’.  I swear he even said “salami pudding”.  I don’t know because I’m not mechanically inclined. I was born without the Mr. Goodwrench gene.  I don’t know how to work on a car and never had the desire to. Some people find that odd or even offensive that a man doesn't know how to fix his own car when it breaks down. I ignore them and go back to my specific skill set: eating and updating my moth collection.  (Not at the same time, that would be ridiculous.)  So far, we’ve yet to have a  power outage since seeing the stranger, so I guess it wasn’t an hallucination from breathing moth dust.

Another look at the delta and the mighty Yukon River.
Again, these are Monica's photos. This shows why it
is so difficult to get from one place to another.

We are getting into our groove at school.  The students remembered that they don’t like doing school work and their teacher remembered that he doesn’t like writing lesson plans on Saturdays.  But even with the larger class, we’re making it work.  One 5th grader told me he missed me this summer.  I asked him how he’s going to feel next year when he moves up the the middle school.  He said, “Sad”.  Then his face lit up and he said, “I’ll have a locker!”.  So it seems I will be easily replaced by lockers.  

With the power fixed it looks like football season will be enjoyable.  Last week the power went out during the last few minutes of a close game, so I wasn’t looking forward to a whole season of that.  We now can go back to the charmed life of continuous electricity and snake-bite free living. Until the next big storm and they have to string together paperclips as a makeshift power line.  

9-1-2012

Week one down, 39 to go.  It’s not like I have a countdown set up on my computer dashboard, but I kind of do.  I’m not a teacher who complains about his job and only does it for the big money in education. I love my job. But I do enjoy getting the time off at the end of the school year.  I think it’s like a marathon runner.  They enjoy the training and the run, but I imagine that by mile 17 they’re completely over the thrill and just want it to end.  I understand the ridiculousness of comparing myself to a marathon runner.  The only marathon I want to be involved in is a Man Vs. Food marathon on TV.  Even with that I’ll need a break or two.

The class is ready for Clint Eastwood's lecture.

So our first full week of school is over and all of us are still alive.  There are more than a few changes from last year.  We have a new principal.  I don’t know how this will affect me because it is still early.  I had fooled my old principal into thinking that I knew what I was doing.  I’m hoping the new one will be as easily fooled.  We also have a new science/math teacher and Social Studies teacher for the HS/MS.  That doesn’t seem like a big turnover, but when we have only 7 teachers in the entire K-12 school, it does make a difference.  Our SS teacher grew up here in Nunam Iqua and taught for 12 years at other schools in the district, so he’s making his homecoming.  The math teacher is just out of school and beginning her career here.  She knows what the challenges will be and is ready.  The rest of us will be able to help Bethany because it wasn’t very long ago we were in her shoes.  I keep telling her that the hardest day of teaching was her first day.  Every day after will get easier. I hope she believes that.

The biggest change this year is that Monica will be my classroom aide.  I will now be my wife’s boss. Unless she reads this, then she’ll put a stop to that nonsense.  She’ll be in the my classroom until just after lunch.  After that she will have a half-hour break and start her preschool class.  So with two jobs and being a full time college student she will be plenty busy.  But being the helping husband I am, I told her she didn’t have to do the laundry until Friday nights.  And dishes could wait until the next night while dinner was cooking. Since clothes don’t fold themselves, she could do that while taking breaks from her college courses. I should be writing a blog about how to keep a marriage strong.  We didn’t make it to nine years because we listened to Dr. Phil.  (Happy Anniversary honey)

One thing that didn’t change is that I’ll still have students in my classroom.  I have 19 this year, which is about 7 more than I had last year.  More kids, more desks, and more grey hair.  Actually, the amount of grey I get is counter balanced with the rate of hair loss.  So whatever I gain I lose.  If I can translate that into weight I’ll be rich.  And skinny.  But they are a good group of kids, most of whom I’ve had in my class before. They know most of my tricks so I’ll have to find find some new ones. 

This is a picture Monica took of sunrise.

The weeks will rush by now since we’ll be so busy.  Come Feb. that will all change: time comes to a dark, cold crawl.  So for now we’ll keep busy with everything coming at us and not worry about the countdown.  I’ll just have to hope for a Here Comes Honey Boo Boo marathon in February.

8-24-2012 (Part Two)

I had every intention to finish part two of my blog last Sunday.  I also had every intention of having only one plate at dinner. Or just one drink.  But, as things sometimes go, I had difficulties with motivation.  Writing is not strenuous, but it does involve thinking.  Not astute thinking obviously, but thinking none the less.  But since I’m lazy and easily distracted, I didn’t write part two on Sunday.  I was distracted by college fishing on ESPN.

I did not know that colleges now compete in fishing. Oklahoma State was fishing against Auburn.  I looked for cheerleaders but didn’t see any.  I wondered how the recruiting worked for college fishing.  Do they have coaches?  Do they have boosters luring high school fishing talent with beer and Evinrudes?  How do they scout unless there are high school fishing teams.  I’ll check into that.

But with the distractions gone, I’m going to add part two.  This is the part where we left Oklahoma and arrived back in Nunam Iqua.  It was a relief to find cooler (much cooler) temperatures up here.  As usual, the plane ride sucked.  This time it started with a solid hour of a small human being screaming at the top of her lungs.  Not just crying, but screaming.  And her 4 yr old brother thought it fun to kick the back of my seat.  

Another reason I’m not comfortable on airplanes is because I won’t use the restroom on the plane.  Ok, I will if needed, but I try to stay dehydrated so I don’t have to try to pee while traveling at 500 mph.  But some people, usually those who sit next to me, find it very convenient to use the lavatory several times during a 5 hr flight.   Monica and I were not sitting together on that leg,(she said it was the airline’s decision) and I was stuck between a married couple who didn’t want to sit beside each other.  I decided to try my new icebreaker to start conversation: I asked each of them for their air-sickness bags because I might need all three.  Strangely that was where the conversation ended.

Monica took this picture of Nunam Iqua just before we landed.

But we made it to Anchorage and stayed two days so we could get our vehicles registered and so Monica could get her driver’s license.  We also needed to do some shopping before heading out to the village.  We went to Mr. Prime Beef and ordered our meat for the year.  They’ll cut it up and ship it out to us.  We have a big freezer, so we have the room. Paying for 241 lbs of meat at one time isn’t fun, but since it lasts most of the school year we swallow and pay.  We ordered our dry goods in July and it arrived in the mail before we got there.  So now we have most of our food for the school year. 

Our pantry filled.

We landed in Nunam Iqua on the 12th of August.  The sun was shining and people were complaining about how hot it was; it was a perfect 70 degrees.   Kids were hollering at us to welcome us home. And we had many, many flies in our house.  Monica said it reminded her of Amityville Horror.  I said it reminded me of our pig barn when I was a kid.  Either way, we killed flies for a week and finally got that under control.  I think our vacuum cleaner bag is full of dead flies.

The school year is beginning and we have food.  I think my motivation was all used up with making sure we had plenty of food for the year.  I obsess about that. Maybe my motivation cup is filling back up, like my belly, so I’ll get back to writing in a more timely manner.  I will try to update what is happening to us up here weekly. Monica says she’ll help motivate me by withholding food.  I believe that will work.

8-17-2012 (Part One)

One my greatest benefits of being a teacher is having summers off. This is a time we get to visit with our family and friends we don’t get to see for 9 months.  Also, we get to eat food that doesn’t come from a can.  Another plus is that Monica is able to get more than 1 mile away from me if she chooses. (The answer is yes, she chooses.)

 We left Nunam Iqua on May 21 and went to Las Vegas.  When we planned the trip it sounded like a good idea.  When we got there it was hot, noisy, crowded, hot, noisy, and crowded.  Since I don’t like giving other people my money, I didn’t do much gambling.  I mostly wandered around the casino floor with a beer in my hand wondering why we came here. Then I lifted my glass to my mouth and remembered.  We did have fun, but I think we’ll go straight home next summer.

We spent most of the summer in an oven.  I realize most of you did too, so I won’t go on about the heat; but good hell it was hot! It made me think about the 50-degree summers up here and contemplate just staying.  But the whole ‘eating food not from a can’ thing kept me on course. 

Without having to work during the day, I was able to catch up on some TV.  So my morning routine would be to get up, sit in the recliner, get back up and make coffee, sit back down in the recliner, turn the TV on, get back up and get my coffee.  (These workouts can be exhausting.) Another benefit of summers off is having the option to wears pants.  On my legs.  While watching TV I realized that the reality shows have exploded.  I guess they have been there for a while, but I just noticed how many shows are on TV about ordinary people doing boring, random jobs.  It’s not like they have lion tamers on; they have people running a cake shops or people bidding on storage units.  How bored do I have to be to watch other people’s lives that are more boring than mine?  So I spent the entire day watching people bid on storage units.  There are a whole lot of TV marathons on in the summer.

This summer also marked the loss of a very important man in our and many other people’s lives.  Monica’s dad passed away at the end of our summer break.  This was very difficult for Monica, as her dad was very important in her life.  She was able to spend most of her summer with him and was beside him when he passed a way.  Bill will be missed by many people for the rest of their lives.

I was able to attend my family reunion in South Dakota in July.  This is always a highlight in my year because it is good to catch up with family.  It was also fun to talk with my cousins who are teachers to compare our classes.  They teach on an Indian Reservation so we found that we face many of the same challenges.  I also noted that as we were discussing our classes, I had more cousins who were teachers at our table than we have teachers in Nunam. 

The summer is done for us and soon school will start.  Although I will miss smoking ribs and pork butts, visiting with family and friends, and not using a can opener, I’m looking forward to the school year.  This will be my third year up here and we don’t regret for one second our decision to come live up here.  It’s nice to return and hear kids and adults greet us with “Welcome home”.  It’s good to have two homes.

5-27-2012

The end of the school year is a busy time for everyone.  (This is my excuse for being late updating the blog.)  Once we hit that last week, everything seemed to be due.  We had report cards, inventory (yes, all kids were accounted for), checkouts, and stowage for the summer.  Then we had to pack for the summer, which didn’t take too long since Monica did most of that.  Well, it didn’t take very long for me.  If Monica could type in here, she may have a different version about the difficulty of the pack.  But she isn’t so we’ll stick with my version.

We left Nunam Iqua and spent one night in Anchorage before heading to Vegas.  Nunam and Vegas are on the opposite ends of any spectrum you can imagine.  Alcohol is illegal in Nunam whereas it seems to be required in Vegas.  Population in Nunam is about 200.  The number of people standing in line for a Buffet in Vegas is about 200.  We had to be ferried to the airstrip in a snowmobile when we left Nunam and it was over 100 degrees our first day in Vegas.  There are many more things I could juxtapose here but you can see that we didn’t have much time for adjustment to crazy. 

Flying from Numan back down to Oklahoma is an ordeal in itself.  We had to change planes seven times.   That is seven more times I have to wonder about how humans have fought off  Natural Selection.  People must know that there are others behind them while in line, but many show no concern holding up the line while fiddling with their carry-ons or cell phones.  It amazes me how long it takes for people to file in and out of a plane.  Or how difficult it is to understand the complex seating arraignment on the plane.  I see it as matching what my boarding pass has printed on it to the number and letter designation printed on the plane.  Others see it as a frantic scavenger hunt, trying their best to decipher the cryptic symbols hidden on their boarding pass.  I think I’ll stop my air travel whining now and not even get into the baggage carousal fiasco.  You’re welcome.

 We are glad to be back seeing our family and friends.  We’ll spend much of the summer trying to catch up with people, whether they want to see us or not.  I also have plans today to BBQ my first three of many racks of ribs.  We are still adjusting to not having to get up for school.  Also our culinary choices have expanded (as will my waistline I’m sure).  But we’ll get rested up and will be ready to head back up there in a couple of months.  Last summer we were ready to escape the heat down here after the first of many weeks over 100 degrees.  See, I haven’t been here a week and I’m already complaining about the weather. 

5-13-2012

You know how when you were in high school you wondered how useful calculus would be in your life?  I mean unless you were a nerd.  Because as a nerd, calculus will play a large part in every aspect in your life.  Like when you would attempt to talk to a girl at a party.  You would say hi.  She would ask you what you liked and you would say calculus. She would then abruptly turn around and walk over to the guys who were trying to light their own farts with matches.  I never understood calculus and I never understood girls.  As I got older, I forgot about calculus and never understood women.  Another part of high school I never thought I would relive was the prom.  But just like my estimation of women, I was wrong.

Sheldon Point School prom 2012.

Our school had its prom on Friday night.  I was asked to be a chaperone, mainly because I happened to make eye contact with the person who was planning the prom during a staff meeting.  When a school has only 6 teachers, I ‘volunteer’ for many activities I normally wouldn’t choose to attend.  The prom being one of them.  I don’t dislike the idea of the prom, just the idea of me being at the prom.  My main responsibility was to hang out in the hallway to keep kids from loitering.  That was much better than being in the gym where the noise was blaring out of the sound system.  Yes, I just referred to the prom music as noise.  I even had a discussion about “music these days” with another teacher.  But the kids enjoyed themselves so it was worth the slight headache.  The biggest difference I saw from the proms I went to and this one was the walk home at 11pm: it was still light out and it was snowing. 

Since we are down to our last week, we are becoming creative with our menus as we try to eat the last of the perishables before we leave for the summer.  We did a pretty good job of buying in bulk and having enough to last throughout the year.  Our meat order lasted us for the year, so that one was about perfect.  We have a few eggs and one more meal of potatoes.  Of course, we still have some canned and dry goods that will keep until we get back next year.  We will eat our last two cans of chili next Friday night for our last Chili-n-Rice night.  I’m thinking we can get the candles out for that one.

With school winding down the kids are beginning to get restless.  Not too bad, but they can sense the end.  It hasn’t been above freezing much this spring and the snow hasn’t been able to melt.  Normally it is warmer here by now and most of the snow would be gone, so maybe they’re fooled into thinking it isn’t Spring yet.  I’m not fooled though. 

We just rewatched The Hangover to make sure we’re in the mood for Vegas.   I think my expectations may be a little bit different than Monica’s.

I want to wish all the mothers a happy Mother’s Day.  I have four important women in my life, three of whom I am not married to.  Two of them came with my wife in a package deal.  They have been more than understanding with me and the crazy places I have dragged Monica to.  Well, at least to my face.  Polly keeps me well fed and entertained when we’re home.  Caroline also keeps me well fed and fusses over me more than she should.  I am lucky to have them in my life.  And to my own mother.  She gave birth to me a little over 25 years ago (give or take 20 years) and has also fed me well.  But she is also a strong and determined woman who has passed down my tendency to be pig-headed at times.  Thanks Mom, and happy Mother’s Day.