8-24-2012 (Part Two)

I had every intention to finish part two of my blog last Sunday.  I also had every intention of having only one plate at dinner. Or just one drink.  But, as things sometimes go, I had difficulties with motivation.  Writing is not strenuous, but it does involve thinking.  Not astute thinking obviously, but thinking none the less.  But since I’m lazy and easily distracted, I didn’t write part two on Sunday.  I was distracted by college fishing on ESPN.

I did not know that colleges now compete in fishing. Oklahoma State was fishing against Auburn.  I looked for cheerleaders but didn’t see any.  I wondered how the recruiting worked for college fishing.  Do they have coaches?  Do they have boosters luring high school fishing talent with beer and Evinrudes?  How do they scout unless there are high school fishing teams.  I’ll check into that.

But with the distractions gone, I’m going to add part two.  This is the part where we left Oklahoma and arrived back in Nunam Iqua.  It was a relief to find cooler (much cooler) temperatures up here.  As usual, the plane ride sucked.  This time it started with a solid hour of a small human being screaming at the top of her lungs.  Not just crying, but screaming.  And her 4 yr old brother thought it fun to kick the back of my seat.  

Another reason I’m not comfortable on airplanes is because I won’t use the restroom on the plane.  Ok, I will if needed, but I try to stay dehydrated so I don’t have to try to pee while traveling at 500 mph.  But some people, usually those who sit next to me, find it very convenient to use the lavatory several times during a 5 hr flight.   Monica and I were not sitting together on that leg,(she said it was the airline’s decision) and I was stuck between a married couple who didn’t want to sit beside each other.  I decided to try my new icebreaker to start conversation: I asked each of them for their air-sickness bags because I might need all three.  Strangely that was where the conversation ended.

Monica took this picture of Nunam Iqua just before we landed.

But we made it to Anchorage and stayed two days so we could get our vehicles registered and so Monica could get her driver’s license.  We also needed to do some shopping before heading out to the village.  We went to Mr. Prime Beef and ordered our meat for the year.  They’ll cut it up and ship it out to us.  We have a big freezer, so we have the room. Paying for 241 lbs of meat at one time isn’t fun, but since it lasts most of the school year we swallow and pay.  We ordered our dry goods in July and it arrived in the mail before we got there.  So now we have most of our food for the school year. 

Our pantry filled.

We landed in Nunam Iqua on the 12th of August.  The sun was shining and people were complaining about how hot it was; it was a perfect 70 degrees.   Kids were hollering at us to welcome us home. And we had many, many flies in our house.  Monica said it reminded her of Amityville Horror.  I said it reminded me of our pig barn when I was a kid.  Either way, we killed flies for a week and finally got that under control.  I think our vacuum cleaner bag is full of dead flies.

The school year is beginning and we have food.  I think my motivation was all used up with making sure we had plenty of food for the year.  I obsess about that. Maybe my motivation cup is filling back up, like my belly, so I’ll get back to writing in a more timely manner.  I will try to update what is happening to us up here weekly. Monica says she’ll help motivate me by withholding food.  I believe that will work.

8-17-2012 (Part One)

One my greatest benefits of being a teacher is having summers off. This is a time we get to visit with our family and friends we don’t get to see for 9 months.  Also, we get to eat food that doesn’t come from a can.  Another plus is that Monica is able to get more than 1 mile away from me if she chooses. (The answer is yes, she chooses.)

 We left Nunam Iqua on May 21 and went to Las Vegas.  When we planned the trip it sounded like a good idea.  When we got there it was hot, noisy, crowded, hot, noisy, and crowded.  Since I don’t like giving other people my money, I didn’t do much gambling.  I mostly wandered around the casino floor with a beer in my hand wondering why we came here. Then I lifted my glass to my mouth and remembered.  We did have fun, but I think we’ll go straight home next summer.

We spent most of the summer in an oven.  I realize most of you did too, so I won’t go on about the heat; but good hell it was hot! It made me think about the 50-degree summers up here and contemplate just staying.  But the whole ‘eating food not from a can’ thing kept me on course. 

Without having to work during the day, I was able to catch up on some TV.  So my morning routine would be to get up, sit in the recliner, get back up and make coffee, sit back down in the recliner, turn the TV on, get back up and get my coffee.  (These workouts can be exhausting.) Another benefit of summers off is having the option to wears pants.  On my legs.  While watching TV I realized that the reality shows have exploded.  I guess they have been there for a while, but I just noticed how many shows are on TV about ordinary people doing boring, random jobs.  It’s not like they have lion tamers on; they have people running a cake shops or people bidding on storage units.  How bored do I have to be to watch other people’s lives that are more boring than mine?  So I spent the entire day watching people bid on storage units.  There are a whole lot of TV marathons on in the summer.

This summer also marked the loss of a very important man in our and many other people’s lives.  Monica’s dad passed away at the end of our summer break.  This was very difficult for Monica, as her dad was very important in her life.  She was able to spend most of her summer with him and was beside him when he passed a way.  Bill will be missed by many people for the rest of their lives.

I was able to attend my family reunion in South Dakota in July.  This is always a highlight in my year because it is good to catch up with family.  It was also fun to talk with my cousins who are teachers to compare our classes.  They teach on an Indian Reservation so we found that we face many of the same challenges.  I also noted that as we were discussing our classes, I had more cousins who were teachers at our table than we have teachers in Nunam. 

The summer is done for us and soon school will start.  Although I will miss smoking ribs and pork butts, visiting with family and friends, and not using a can opener, I’m looking forward to the school year.  This will be my third year up here and we don’t regret for one second our decision to come live up here.  It’s nice to return and hear kids and adults greet us with “Welcome home”.  It’s good to have two homes.

5-27-2012

The end of the school year is a busy time for everyone.  (This is my excuse for being late updating the blog.)  Once we hit that last week, everything seemed to be due.  We had report cards, inventory (yes, all kids were accounted for), checkouts, and stowage for the summer.  Then we had to pack for the summer, which didn’t take too long since Monica did most of that.  Well, it didn’t take very long for me.  If Monica could type in here, she may have a different version about the difficulty of the pack.  But she isn’t so we’ll stick with my version.

We left Nunam Iqua and spent one night in Anchorage before heading to Vegas.  Nunam and Vegas are on the opposite ends of any spectrum you can imagine.  Alcohol is illegal in Nunam whereas it seems to be required in Vegas.  Population in Nunam is about 200.  The number of people standing in line for a Buffet in Vegas is about 200.  We had to be ferried to the airstrip in a snowmobile when we left Nunam and it was over 100 degrees our first day in Vegas.  There are many more things I could juxtapose here but you can see that we didn’t have much time for adjustment to crazy. 

Flying from Numan back down to Oklahoma is an ordeal in itself.  We had to change planes seven times.   That is seven more times I have to wonder about how humans have fought off  Natural Selection.  People must know that there are others behind them while in line, but many show no concern holding up the line while fiddling with their carry-ons or cell phones.  It amazes me how long it takes for people to file in and out of a plane.  Or how difficult it is to understand the complex seating arraignment on the plane.  I see it as matching what my boarding pass has printed on it to the number and letter designation printed on the plane.  Others see it as a frantic scavenger hunt, trying their best to decipher the cryptic symbols hidden on their boarding pass.  I think I’ll stop my air travel whining now and not even get into the baggage carousal fiasco.  You’re welcome.

 We are glad to be back seeing our family and friends.  We’ll spend much of the summer trying to catch up with people, whether they want to see us or not.  I also have plans today to BBQ my first three of many racks of ribs.  We are still adjusting to not having to get up for school.  Also our culinary choices have expanded (as will my waistline I’m sure).  But we’ll get rested up and will be ready to head back up there in a couple of months.  Last summer we were ready to escape the heat down here after the first of many weeks over 100 degrees.  See, I haven’t been here a week and I’m already complaining about the weather. 

5-13-2012

You know how when you were in high school you wondered how useful calculus would be in your life?  I mean unless you were a nerd.  Because as a nerd, calculus will play a large part in every aspect in your life.  Like when you would attempt to talk to a girl at a party.  You would say hi.  She would ask you what you liked and you would say calculus. She would then abruptly turn around and walk over to the guys who were trying to light their own farts with matches.  I never understood calculus and I never understood girls.  As I got older, I forgot about calculus and never understood women.  Another part of high school I never thought I would relive was the prom.  But just like my estimation of women, I was wrong.

Sheldon Point School prom 2012.

Our school had its prom on Friday night.  I was asked to be a chaperone, mainly because I happened to make eye contact with the person who was planning the prom during a staff meeting.  When a school has only 6 teachers, I ‘volunteer’ for many activities I normally wouldn’t choose to attend.  The prom being one of them.  I don’t dislike the idea of the prom, just the idea of me being at the prom.  My main responsibility was to hang out in the hallway to keep kids from loitering.  That was much better than being in the gym where the noise was blaring out of the sound system.  Yes, I just referred to the prom music as noise.  I even had a discussion about “music these days” with another teacher.  But the kids enjoyed themselves so it was worth the slight headache.  The biggest difference I saw from the proms I went to and this one was the walk home at 11pm: it was still light out and it was snowing. 

Since we are down to our last week, we are becoming creative with our menus as we try to eat the last of the perishables before we leave for the summer.  We did a pretty good job of buying in bulk and having enough to last throughout the year.  Our meat order lasted us for the year, so that one was about perfect.  We have a few eggs and one more meal of potatoes.  Of course, we still have some canned and dry goods that will keep until we get back next year.  We will eat our last two cans of chili next Friday night for our last Chili-n-Rice night.  I’m thinking we can get the candles out for that one.

With school winding down the kids are beginning to get restless.  Not too bad, but they can sense the end.  It hasn’t been above freezing much this spring and the snow hasn’t been able to melt.  Normally it is warmer here by now and most of the snow would be gone, so maybe they’re fooled into thinking it isn’t Spring yet.  I’m not fooled though. 

We just rewatched The Hangover to make sure we’re in the mood for Vegas.   I think my expectations may be a little bit different than Monica’s.

I want to wish all the mothers a happy Mother’s Day.  I have four important women in my life, three of whom I am not married to.  Two of them came with my wife in a package deal.  They have been more than understanding with me and the crazy places I have dragged Monica to.  Well, at least to my face.  Polly keeps me well fed and entertained when we’re home.  Caroline also keeps me well fed and fusses over me more than she should.  I am lucky to have them in my life.  And to my own mother.  She gave birth to me a little over 25 years ago (give or take 20 years) and has also fed me well.  But she is also a strong and determined woman who has passed down my tendency to be pig-headed at times.  Thanks Mom, and happy Mother’s Day.  

4-29-2012

      We are down to our last three weeks.  The students are quick to remind me of how many days we have left.  I’m quick to remind them I know.  I’d like to think the kids are anxiously awaiting a break from all of the learning they’ve been doing the past 9 months.  But I realize they may be ready for a break from me.  As one student put it: “I’m tired of your voice.” 

My students pretending to be water molecules during the math/science day.

We had a math/science family day at the school this week.  Each class put together a booth that would demonstrate a math concept.  Since Monica and I are going to Vegas when school is out, the kids have asked plenty of questions about what Las Vegas is like.  I thought this would be the perfect time to fully explain   probability theory to the kids.

Our booth consisted of a spinner divided into 6 even pieces.  Four pieces had their own color and two pieces shared a color.  So, it had 1 red, 1 yellow, 1 purple, 1 blue, and 2 green.  A player was to put a marker on the color they thought the spinner would land on the most after 10 spins.  If the color the player chose matched the winning spinner color, they won a prize.  The participants were students from the entire school and any community members who wanted to come, mostly family members.  Our class wanted to see how many people would realize that their chances of winning would be better if they chose green.

My students were eager for a turn so they could win a prize.  Since we had been going over this in class for a while, they knew that by picking green they had an excellent chance of winning.  My students took turns working in the booth, running the spinner and keeping track of what colors that were being chosen by the players.  By recording what colors were being picked, we learned how Las Vegas can afford to pay their electricity bill.  While green was the color picked the most, the other four colors accumulated more picks together.  The biggest reason was because most people never bothered to look at the spinner to see if they were all equal.  Another lesson for the kids: pay attention!!

Getting ready to pull the container.

This morning I was asked to help tow a freight container from the middle of the Yukon River back to the barge landing.  Last November we had a major storm that produced a large surge from the Bering Sea.  It pulled the container out to the middle of the already frozen river, where it sat all winter long.  These are the containers that are used on ships and railcars, so it weighs about 5,000 lbs.  We are trying to tow it in using snowmachines.  They have been working for about a month and have moved it about 2 ft in that time.  We worked this morning for about 3 hours and moved it about 4 ft.  We’re on break for lunch and will try to move it more this afternoon. 

With 3 weeks left, we are getting anxious to see family and friends.  Spending time with family is the number one plan for this summer.  We are traveling through Vegas on the way home, but only for a few days.  My classes’ last project is to come up with a plan for me at the blackjack table.  I told them they could get 1% of the cut if I win over $100 dollars.  I’ll teach them about percentages next year.

4-22-2012

Last week Monica burned her hands while she was cooking dinner.  Thankfully, everything turned out ok. I was able to finish the gravy and it turned out just fine.    Oh yeah, even though Monica’s hands hurt badly that night, they turned out to be ok with no blistering.  They’re still bright red and sore, but she’s able to get back into the kitchen perform her magic.  She’s also able to continue cooking.  Which is much better, because I can only witness somebody finding a quarter behind my ear so many times before it gets tedious. 

When Monica burned her hands, it was a cruel reminder of our lack of healthcare in our village.  The first thing we did was get her hands in cold water, which is fine since we have plenty of cold water.  Now what?  We can’t take her to the hospital because we don’t have one here.  Our Internet is not working so we can’t check WebMD or the baseball scores.  Talk about bad luck.  We do have a very rudimentary health clinic in town, but it isn’t open at this time of night.  Besides, they wouldn’t have any baseball updates anyway.  We’re on our own.

If there is a life-threatening emergency, we can call 911 and get help here.  The problem is that the help will have to fly here from Bethel, about 1hr away.  We have no paramedics in the village to assist with medical needs.  So, if we are in need of medical care, it will be over two hours before we can get to a hospital.  That is if the weather is cooperating.  Many times the weather will not allow planes to land here at our small airstrip.  In that case, we would have to travel to Emmonak, 20 miles, to a larger clinic that is usually staffed by a nurse practitioner.  And the travel would have to be by boat if the river isn’t frozen or by snowmachine if it is. 

We are very aware of our situation out here.  Every little pain in my chest causes me anxiety.  The words heart attack immediately form in my head.  Then I panic and wonder if my left arm is tingling.  I can reassure myself that I’m not having a heart attack after I remember heart attacks don’t usually happen while people are sitting still, watching TV and I calm back down.  Then I’ll have a brain tumor, or as most people call them, a headache. Monica can talk me down from that one. 

So we just have to be careful while we are here.  We purposely have dull knives so we don’t cut ourselves.  We’ve discontinued our pogo stick lessons.  And Monica has promised to be more careful while making gravy.  I do understand that less gravy should lead to less heart anxieties for me, so maybe we can both be safer.  Especially since I quit eating gravy while practicing my pogo hopping.  

4-15-2012

Warmer days are here.  This past week we felt what it was like to be in a refrigerator instead of a freezer.  We went above freezing for a few days this week.  It sure doesn’t take long for the snow to start to melt with the sun shining and it being warm.  The nights are still getting down to the single digits, but spring is creeping up here. 

Me distracting students from doing their work.

The kids seem to follow the sun’s schedule.  With the sun being out so late (10:30), the kids are still out playing past my bedtime.  It’s been a month since I’ve seen a sunset.  So on Monday mornings the kids drag themselves into the class and lay their heads on their desks.  I’ll ask “How is everyone?’ and they’ll reply “ummmffpmm”.  In unison.  I’ll give them a break to use the bathrooms and get their pencils sharpened for the day. They’ll all shuffle off like a pack of zombies, mumbling to each other about something.  Eating my brain I assume.  It takes until after lunch for them to fully wake up and want to fully participate.  This all happens mostly because they’ve stayed up late all weekend playing and doing what ever else kids do.  Eat candy and drink Red Bull I guess.  So when they get to school on Mondays, they’re coming down off a Red Bull and sugar high while being sleep deprived. 

By Tuesday morning they’re back to normal and ready to jabber about things non-school related.  Mostly snowmachines and movies.  A good teacher can get them back on track by subtlety steering the conversation back to where he/she wants it.  I on the other hand have to utilize the tried and true method of yelling, “Hey!!”   Sometimes I have to be more specific like, “Hey!! Take that pencil out of his nose!!”  Or, “Hey!! That’s not what a pencil sharpener is used for!”  The word 'hey' is a fine catch-all.  It can be use for pointing out a good thing: "Hey, good job on that math test."  Or for something bad: "Hey!  That's going to get you suspended.  I'll bet you can't do that again."

The students taking control of their own learning.

Most of my day does not involve ordering students to pull things out of their faces.  Sometimes I actually do some instruction.  While I was teaching about equivalent fractions, a debate arose about pies and pizzas.  The kids didn’t want pie on their pizza, they wanted pepperoni.   I assured them that a pizza was a pie.  “No, it is not!” was their counter.  So I go into a long explanation about the etymology of the word pizza and that it was, in fact, a pie.  “No it’s not!”  I asked them “Why would I lie about something like this to you?”  They just gave me an accusatory stare.  “OK” I said, “I was only joking about killing a polar bear with a toothpick.  But this is real.”  Same stares, only this time they were looking a little meaner.  As a teacher, you have to stand your ground and do what’s right.  So I told them, “Yes.  You’re right.  Pizza is not a pie.  I was only joking.”  Only then was I able to continue with the lesson.

With the snow beginning to soften, I may not make another trip on the snowmachine to Emmonak.  Even though the Yukon ice is still 3-4ft thick, water will come up from cracks, causing water to run over the ice.  I am by genetic engineering a chicken, so I don’t want to ride one snow and ice.  I think we have enough chili to get us by for the next 5 weeks.  Well, me at least.  Monica likes it but not as much as I do.  I went up on Wednesday and picked a few things to last us for the rest of the school year.  I just checked the coffee supply and we’re good.  Nine cans of chili and six pounds of coffee beans.  I’ll leave the Raman noodles for Monica.