10-8-2011

October is here and cooler weather came with it.  We’ve had some hard frosts and we had snowflakes yesterday.  Nothing stuck, but it was still snow.  It isn’t light outside till 9am, so we get to see some nice sunrises during school; those never get tiresome to watch. 

I spent part of last week in Hooper Bay, which is a larger school in our district.  Half of the district’s teachers met there for our in-service.  We flew out of here on Wed. and came home Friday night.  We were accommodated the floor of a third grade classroom.  I did have an air mattress, so at least I didn’t have to touch the floor with my head or side of my face.  Third graders are not discriminate about where they step so I can’t imagine good things being in the carpet.  Well, gummi worms are good, but not to sleep on.  Dog poop is not good for anything, especially not to sleep on.  Now I have to take another shower.

We talked about curriculum and classroom management.  Talking about curriculum is usually coma inducing and this time it was no different.  When talking about classroom management, it became teachers trying to out-story each other.  Everyone’s anecdote was worse than the others.  It seems that vampires and werewolves are alive and well up here too.

Anytime teachers clump together, a single phrase seems to always come up: teachable moments.  In college, they told us ‘teachable moments’ were times when something unexpected happens and you use that situation to teach something important to the student blah, blah, blah.  I have found that when something unexpected happens that is a good time to yell at students.  Last week I came upon an unexpected situation and I decided to leave what was said alone.

I was showing the class some pictures I took during a vacation to Washington DC a few years ago.  When the Lincoln Memorial picture came up, one of my 4^th graders started to tell the rest of the class about the Memorial.  He pointed out that it is huge and that Lincoln’s hands are positioned so one shows strength and one shows compassion.  (I did not know that.)  The rest of the class was listening attentively as the student talked about Lincoln’s life as a lawyer and then as President.  He told the class solemnly that President Lincoln was shot in a theater while watching a play.  One of the students asked why he was killed.  The student calmly explained that Lincoln wore a tall hat and the guy behind him couldn’t see the play so he shot him.

I know, I should have corrected him and explained how Castro plotted with the CIA to kill Lincoln because of his views on Israel.  Wait, that was Garfield.  Anyways, I didn’t correct him because I saw the way the kids were listening to him.  They will learn soon enough why and how he died, but they will always remember that he was shot in a theater.  Another reason I didn’t correct him was because I was laughing so hard.  Quietly.

It is always fun to listen to what the kids infer or make up on their own.  But I guess they’re learning something, I know I am.  Transferring knowledge is important.  I for one will never wear a stovepipe hat where it can obscure the view of another patron in the theater.  Lesson learned Mr. Booth.

9-25-2011

The days are getting shorter. Well not the hours in a day, it’s still 24 hours, just the daylight. We are losing about 6 minutes of daylight each day so it adds up fast. It’s not getting light until after 8:30, so when I sleep in on the weekends it feels like I’m getting up real early because it is still dark outside. The problem is that I get real sleepy when it gets dark. Like going to bed sleepy. Which is fine now, but in a month, it will be dark by five, so I’ll be getting plenty of sleep this winter.

I teach three separate grades: 3rd, 4th, and 5th. The great thing about that is that I get about two-thirds of the same kids back the next year. The bad thing about that is that I get about two-thirds of the same kids back the next year. Really, it is a good thing. It’s nice to know the kids and what they are like in the classroom. It also really helps me because they know me and how I rule my classroom. They know how much they can get away with and how much they can’t. They also know what it means when my left eye starts twitching.

This means that the third graders are the newbies in the class. They sit in their cluster and watch me with curiosity and skepticism. They are not sure if they should fear me or laugh at me. The other two grades already know that answer: they laugh nervously. One of my new students reported to me that she needed a drink because her “lungs are dry.” I told Auquawoman to wait until our next break, promising her that she would not die of thirst.

I use a graphic organizer for writing in my class and it is labeled ‘THEMATIC WEB’. Last week I had my class write about their favorite movie and we used the graphic organizer to help organize our writing. (I’m thinking you wish I was using one for my writing.) The organizer has a main topic box and six ‘detail’ boxes that connect to the main topic box. The students were to put the title of their favorite movie in the ‘main topic’ box and then add six details in each of the ‘detail boxes’. One student’s favorite movie was “The Matic Web”. Apparently it was a story about a spider, named Matic, who weaves webs and talks with pigs.

I had my hair cut today. Since there isn’t a barber for a couple hundred miles, we ordered clippers from Amazon.com and Monica cuts my hair. She’s done this for years because I don’t like other people standing that close to me, touching my head. I’m not really fond of her touching my head, but since she said I looked like Friar Tuck, I knew I needed to get it cut. I also decided to trim my beard right after my haircut. You know, the whole package. I hadn’t had my hair cut since May. It is depressing to see that the amount of beard trimmings was more than my hair trimmings. It is bizarre to have hair disappearing from my head and migrating to my shoulders, sprouting in places they hadn’t been before. I even found one growing inside of my ear. How can that be useful to our species?

Not only is it getting darker, it is getting colder. I saw the weather forecast for next week and we may get snow by the end of the week. I don’t have to shovel it or drive in it, so I say bring it on. It’ll be nice to see the snow falling while I’m reading my new book about Matic and her friends.

9-19-2011

Week four is done and I don’t have much to whine about.  Last year it was nice to write my blog and bellyache, since Monica wasn’t hear to suffer my babbling.  But she is able to hear it firsthand this year.  Since writing is similar to work, and I’m lazy, I tend to whine more with my face-hole than with writing.  That’s my pseudo-attempt at making an excuse as to why I didn’t write a blog last week.

I was in Anchorage last week, receiving training for a tutoring program I will be helping with this year.  Our school offers an after school program for up to 15 kids three days a week.  It is administered by an outside group, which sets up the curriculum and even provides snacks.   Another teacher and I will be sharing the duties of managing the program from our end.  This will give us a few extra bucks to go towards our next purchase: a snowmobile.

Well, it’s called a snowmachine up here but I’ll stick with using my southern accent.  Having a snowmobile would give us something to do while it’s frozen outside, besides just watching TV.  Not that TV is all bad, but getting cabin fever may be dangerous this year.  I don’t know how Monica will handle being up here all winter, knowing there are sharp objects in the kitchen drawers.  Plus, when I’m asleep I snore.  Loudly.  And I have no way to defend myself while sleeping.  So this snowmobile purchase just may save my life.  It would also allow us to do some shopping at an actual store.  Emmonak is about 20 miles away on the Yukon River and has two stores.  Once the river freezes by the first part of Dec., it is used like a road for people riding snowmobiles. 

It will be expensive to shop there.  Just the gas will be a big part of the cost.  It is about $6 a gallon and may go up during the winter.  Food is pretty outrageously priced; eggs are about $5 a dozen. Crappy, small red delicious apples are $13.29 for 5lbs.  Monica went up there yesterday on a boat with some friends and bought a few things for us.  Eggs, not apples. 

Monica has been working more than we had anticipated.  Way more.  In 19 school days, she has worked as a substitute in 14 of them.  She has subbed as a special ed teacher, special ed aide, general ed class aide, and a math/science HS/MS teacher.  She has not subbed in my class yet, but maybe someday.  She will be starting her college career next month, so she’ll really be busy, with subbing and doing her own homework.  I’m not sure how the laundry will get done, but maybe the Laundry Fairy will show up.  I was the Laundry Fairy one year for Halloween.  Ok, it wasn’t Halloween, but it sure makes a Tuesday go much faster.

With nothing to whine about, I have to look for a new hobby.  The snowmobile will give me something to do once it gets cold.  Until then, I can try out the Xbox.  Monica and a couple of other teachers have already started by playing some Kinect games (dancing and jumping around).  I have yet to succumb to the urge to dance to Lady GaGa.  Maybe the Laundry Fairy will help me with that.

9-3-2011

I realize I didn’t post a blog last week, but I was busy entertaining my parents.  Not entertaining in the way of an old-thyme Vaudeville act, but in the way of sitting on an old, uncomfortable couch, painfully realizing what people did before TV.  They talked.  They talked about mundane things that aren’t discussed much these days.  Once Philo Farnsworth put the television in living rooms across America, we were spared conversing about how one’s day went.  Now we can watch The Simpsons instead of listening to someone drone on about the difference they are making in the world.

But, we were without TV for most of the time my parents were here.  Apparently the cable that runs from the dish to our TV had an open in it.  We learned this by doing a little troubleshooting.  Our troubleshooting consisted of me holding a ladder and Monica crawling up on the roof, unhooking the old cable, hooking up the new cable, crawling back down the steep-pitched roof to the ladder that was firmly anchored back on the ground.  So it is a bit self-serving when Monica rolls her eyes when I explain how we fixed the problem.  Without that ladder secured to the ground with my anchoring skills, she may not have been able to scale the roof so we could fix the TV. 

We finished week two of the school year.  One of the great parts of teaching multiple grades (3-4-5) is that I already had 2/3 of the students in my class last year.  The new 3^rd graders are still trying to comprehend what has happened to their lives.  They are still trying to figure me out; wondering if I’m serious when I tell them they cannot have a drink of water.  I’ve known camels that drink less water than these kids.  (Some of my best friends are camels.)  I give specific breaks for the students to use the bathroom and get drinks so they are not constantly asking for breaks throughout the day.  One of the 3^rd graders asked is she could get a drink of water because her “lungs were dry”.  I’ve heard of severe dehydration before, but she must have really been experiencing an awful amount of pain.  I told her no.  The good news is that I know what I’ll be teaching in health now.

Monica has kept busy up here.  Not including playing a cable repairperson, she has worked 6 of 10 days substituting at the school.  It looks like she may be able afford to pay for her plane tickets home. She’ll be starting on her college classes in Oct, so she’s already on her way to a teaching career.  After taking two classes last semester, I swore I would take a year off before taking any more classes.  I’ll be taking a grad level writing class this semester.  Maybe after this year my writing will be improved and I’ll figure out what a transitive verb is.  I always thought it was a verb that dressed as a noun. 

The year has started smoothly so far but I know grief will show up a few times for me.  I have Monica here this year to complain to, which she is looking forward to.  Our pantry is filled with most of our year’s food and our freezer is filled with meat.  I am convinced I will have another great year here in a place called The Middle of Nowhere, Alaska.  I think I’ll have another cup of coffee and watch football for the next 14 hours.  (Thank you Monica)

8-21-2011

08-21-2011

School starts Monday.  I had all summer to prepare for the first day.  I didn’t.  I had all of last week in my classroom to prepare.  I didn’t.  I even have the weekend, but I’m sure I won’t be ready until Monday morning at 8:50 when the kids walk in the door and wait for me to tell them what to do.  They will then do something very dissimilar than what I just asked them to do.  They’ve been ready for weeks.

After a weekend to settle back in, the teachers reported back to work last Monday.  Everyone was talking about the exciting things they did this summer.  People traveled and saw new things and experiences.  Everyone really loved my story about how we packed all of our things into boxes.  They were on the edge of their seats when I described in detail how I picked up each box and placed it in a U-Haul trailer.   You wouldn’t know their amazement by the way they pretended to not care.  At all. 

The week without students went past quickly and without incident.  This year I planned better for the start since I may have gotten smarter.  We’ll see about that on the first day, but at least I feel better prepared.  I hope that feeling doesn’t go away the second the kids walk into the class.

On Friday morning, my parents showed up for a ten-day visit.  I don’t think it will take ten days to tour the whole village, but they should have an intimate knowledge of Nunam Iqua by the time they leave.  They’ve already seen the school and have met most of our staff.  (Four people)

 Our house up here is a two-bedroom/one bathroom, so there is plenty of room for the four of us.  But it does change our day-to-day routine a little bit.  For one, Monica insists I put pants on when we eat.  Even when I explain that I don’t plan on going outside she is pretty adamant about it.  So, I put pants on and try to act natural. 

Another thing that is different is what we hear.  70yr old men make sounds that can be quite alarming.  I’m not sure if I should say anything because nobody acknowledges the noises.  Mom pretends they’re normal or at least she ignores them.  They frighten me.  The noises I mean.  Well, my parents do a bit too.

They also say things that I don’t need to hear.  One of the last things I need to hear coming from the next bedroom right before I go to sleep is my mother saying, “We can still cuddle.”  That is something I cannot un-hear.  It does make it a little harder to get to sleep after having that running through your head.  We were also treated with “Honey, were are my clean underwear?”  This implies two things.  One, a 70 yr old man is naked, wandering around the house, looking for his underwear.  Two, there is a pair of a 70 yr old man’s dirty underwear lying around somewhere.  I hope to God they are not the tiger striped bikini type.

I think I’m as ready as I will be for the kids on Monday.  Monica is working as a substitute classroom aide this year and will be at work Monday also.  I hope she listens to me when I try to boss her around.  I’m sure she will.  I just wish she’d hurry up and find those dirty underwear so I don’t step on them in the dark.

8-13-2011 Part Two

Another passenger from Nunam had landed and wasn’t about to be stranded.  She called her uncle, who agreed to get her in his boat and take her to Nunam.  Grover was standing at the airlines when Monica called to check in.  They handed the phone to Grover and he said if we could get to the dock, we could get a ride home.  Perfect.  We gather our belongings and get a ride down to the dock, where we climbed into a 20-foot aluminum fishing boat. 

The hour-long boat ride home was an experience.  It was cold, rough, and foggy.  We couldn’t see both shores at the same time through the fog.  We did get a “Yukon face wash” during the trip, with the waves coming over the bow of the boat often.  The flat-bottomed boat gave us a punishing trip in the rough waters.  The other person on the boat had just had surgery, shaming me not to bitch about have the crap beat out of me.  But we did make it, wet and cold, but finally home.

We were both a little anxious about opening the door to our house because we had been informed during the summer that the house had been broken into.  We didn’t know the extent of any damage or mess that would be waiting for us.  Fortunately, the ones who broke in were just looking for a place to hang out.  The mess was small and not much was missing.  We did lose our DVD player, but the TV was still there.  Someone did leave a small deposit that was still there.  We have called this the Defiant Turd. 

The Turd was still floating in the toilet.  Monica was the one who discovered it and saved me from having to witness this horrific site.  Since she was the one who found it, she would be the one who would dispose of the Turd.  She claims it was scowling at her, and had mold on it.  When she tried to flush it down, it stayed above the water line and refused to be dragged down the drain.  Monica’s determination conquered the Turd.  It finally succumbed to the drain.  I was afraid to ask what her methods were and I pray she takes that to her grave.

If you made it to this point, thank you.  I know it was long but it’s the first of the new season.  We are happily settling in and I’ll start work on Monday, sans students for the first week.  Then my parents will arrive on Friday.  That will give me plenty of material for the blog.

8-13-2011 Part One

Well, we made it back to Nunam Iqua last night.  We left Tulsa on Wed and spent two nights in Anchorage.  That was our last time to get Starbucks, beer, and most foods available to people living near a store.  Anchorage was also a time to do a grocery order from Fred Meyers and a meat order from the butcher.  Both will take at least a week to get here, so we also packed a suitcase with meat and cheeses and checked it with our other luggage.

This posting will be longer than usual and in two parts, but I didn’t want to leave anything out.  Plus, you’ll have to read all of this to get the story of the Defiant Turd.  True story.

The trip started out just fine.  We left Oklahoma, where it was finally raining and under 100 degrees for the first time in three weeks.  We checked our bags and headed straight to Starbucks.  (Monica’s idea)  It was only 8:20 so I passed on by the lounge.  Sure I thought about it but I kept going, showing surprising restraint, considering it would be 9 months until I get to display my lack of self-control. 

We switched planes at DFW and SeaTac before heading to Anchorage.  These flights were all uneventful except for the usual crying kids and cramped spaces for sitting.  I’ve also noticed that since airlines started charging for checked luggage, the carry-on luggage is huge, which takes longer boarding and deboarding the plane.   Some people (those in front of me) forget that there is 100 other people waiting to get to their seats and spend an unwarranted amount of time stuffing their kitchen sink in the space above my seat.  I wanted that space for the kid.

We spent two good days in Anchorage, finishing up with shopping and last minute gorging.  We also enjoyed trading the hot Oklahoma temps for the much cooler Alaskan climate.  We left for Bethel, where we would change planes yet again.  It was raining but Grant Airlines boarded us for Emmonak, which would take us to our last leg of the trip.  This was where things went off track.

The weather was somewhat worse for flying once we landed in Emmonak.  We were grounded there and had to wait for our 20-mile flight to Nunam Iqua.  At about 1pm, the pilot came to us and suggested we start making alternative plans.  If I was on the moon and NASA suggested I start making alternative plans, I would have the same look of fear on my face as I did when the pilot spoke with us.  The pilot had the same demeanor as a Dr. explaining some horrible disease they’ve found in your brain.  Our problem was that our alternative plan was the same as our original plan: getting on the plane and flying to Nunam. 

I remembered I did kind of know one of the teachers in Emmonak.  Emmonak is in our school district so I used my one chance of an alternative plan by calling the school.  They sent the teacher out to get us.  She invited us to her house but we decided to stay at the school since she was in the middle of moving from one house to another.  Three hours later, we decided to call the airlines to check in with them, hoping the weather had lifted enough to allow us to fly.  Nope.  But, a teacher from my school had just landed and was in the same predicament.  Grover was about to save the day.